I made mistakes you have too part of love is forget and forgive and work on it and talk through it I guess when you wouldn’t talk it made me act dumb. I just miss joking and calling you goofy I miss riding bikes cuddling hugging and our talks kisses and holding hands and holding you from behind I just miss you I’ll admit I cried everyday for months still do sometimes.. Just wanted to tell you that day that I would do anything and die for you cause it’s true. I fought soo much to keep us from falling apart. I don’t think you realize how much you meant and id have done anything for you like give you space cause I care enough too. I don’t wanna point fingers I just wanted be like you how you’d get jealous when girls would even look at me haha or ask me if someone hit on me so I guess I did it back. I am sorry I am showing you I care and love you. I was fighting for you to talk while you went through this. They say the ones who act ike they move forward fall hard and back even if they seem alright and fall eventually it hits them hard and they realize and could have saved it. What’s meant to be will always find a way. I liked how we have so much in common and push us to do better and workout and just all that. I was trying talk to you like mature adults and fix things thats why id ask to talk. Remember I danced with you by that caffee at loras by the river haha You were most amazing gf ever then one day you just stopped talking everything I liked the pay one day I pay the next even though I always tried pay but youd get mad haha I use to ask you what you didn’t like about yourself and id kiss it. I wanted show you I cared and be jealous like grabbing me tight when girls were around and you would ask me if those bitches hit on me or bitches better stay away haha. I thought it was so cute how you cared and didn’t want someone taking me away wrestle in the yard and we use to always pick on eachother and do stuff to eachother always made me laugh with stuff you said and did. I just can’t figure out why you wouldn’t talk and it made me scared and say stupid stuff I just wanted you talk tell me how you feel I meant it when I said id have done anything for you. I just wish you’d talk and when I tried talking to you„, you just wasnt there. I remember always trying to hide stuff so you wouldn’t feel weird or goofy haha it always made me smile. Why try feel a void with people who can’t I know you are what is my void. Or idk..I never forced you do anything or take away school all I wanted was you talk spend time and work on things all I ever wanted never hit you nor lied. I never used you or took anything you did for granted sure I got upset but who doesn’t. You just have to talk to make things work.Like you said nobody can tell us what’s right or wrong what to do or what we did was right cause they were not there they only hear one side and what they wanna see. Only we know they didn’t know or do what we did they don’t know the true feelings it’s easy tell people than to know their feelings and what they really want. It’s not easy but it’s worth it. take and give. People who say move on or get a new one it’s like we are talking about love not cars haha people treat things like people and people like things. You don’t just throw people and love away you work on it. How do we know it’s over if we never tried or talked that’s what I was asked. I just wanted be with you. I didn’t do this goofy sure I messed up I just wanna talk. I like ellen it’ll make you laugh always have been here still I loved look you always had when looking at me and how youd always smile. I’m sorry for those dumb things I just wanted you talk and you wouldn’t made me do dumb shit I just wish you would have worked with me and talked and tell me why. I did it figured it would help us. I tried so hard I’m sorry. You just took me for granted like forgot you could lose me cause my threats not really threats but yeah I just miss you and trust me I would have stopped and worked with you just when you don’t talk can’t fix anything like kids use your voice We all have faults but atleast with me I would ask you why and try work on things. I learned this through relationships would you rather have something small wrong or big that small thing can be worked on. I never lied nor cheat hit you or was drinking even stopped drugs and was working out job going to school. People only choose see the bad and forget the good aka take them for granted. What you may know you were my whole world. I’m sorry for it I just was getting so hurt from trying soo hard.All I ever aksed was talk to me and work with me. You hurt me many times but I still was here cause I loved you and cared and knew you were it I never wanted anyone else.I miss kissing you head and hands and opening doors and texting you goodmorning beautiful girl I am so lucky to have you. It’s like ive been told there is always something about someone. You just have to work with them like you it was when you lied too me and would break promises it hurt sooooo bad. I was working with you on it I had reason to leave big reason. Like this what I did you could have worked on it with me like people in love do kinda thing work on things together. I never once thought you were slutty or anything I always thought you dressed amazing even told you that you were beautiful I think you took it all wrong I just wanted know why I think you took it out of context and blew it up I never called you names I just fixed stuff so it wasnt showing haha. I even encouraged to get boots and I always told you speak your mind haha remember in college and at the end???? You’re right ive always told you you need put yourself first. This why I also giving you space. I just want you happy and I hurt everyday cause I miss you and stuff. I guess what bothers me is you might thinking I sai stuff I didn’t or mean it a way I didn’t and it’s all cause you stopped communicating just know when I question the way you dress is cause you spent less time talking and changed everything soooo fast that it worried me cause I care it’ll be like if I cut my hair shaved more didn’t talk to you as much and dressed different youd wonder why. I just want you happy. you said I make you happy. I always told you make yourself happy. That’s why I asked all the time what you wanted and if I made you happy and what I could do and always tried meet friends and tried to do things you like and stuff so never think I never wanted you happy first can’t put it on me. They ask me if I get upset cause some stuff they read isnt true I say no cause we know I always tried and you even told me in letters and always told me how much I care and would always try make you happy. That’s why I wanted us talk so I can help.I just want you happy and to help you in everyway I can It’s like you use hate when women would even look at me what would you do if I did what you did and how you did it. Like how you said we are on a break but never there you say ill talk to you later never do it sucked. You would get pissed if a naked girl was on tv or short shorts youd lok at me to look never did even when I wasnt around cause when in a relationship you should never look if you do that means you compare and not happy its not their fault its just you only look for physical not whats inside like how can you look at another guy when you have one and deserves the things you say and think about that guy why pay money when you could give it to him like a new shirt witch would last longer and be enjoyed more. Like you told me this is not to you just seeing women how they look at other men but guys do it they get yelled at. Like they say they should not waste their focus on someone else because the good person will get tired of it and will hurt they will eventually get tired of it. I never understand why girls go for a holes or guys who don’t care. You act like I lied cheated and stuff when all I did was say something keep me from going crazy cause you wouldn’t talk and you didn’t talk to me about it or work on it either. Want proof I tried remember how I said I don’t wanna be pushed away did you ever say that or talk it sucks I would have done anything for you all you had to do was work on my flaws with me. What hurts most is the fact you only see one side and I don’t mention all the bad you did I just always brushed it off cause how much I cared and loved. I just let it be and choose to just love you this really pushes me away like the times I spelt guts to you told you I don’t wanna lose you and would die for you that took a lot to say and sorry.You remember when you asked me why did they leave and I told you everything I did wrong blamed myself and you said I can’t believe someone would hurt you or leave. Well you did that. I am the same I said dumb shit who doesnt I really am sorry but like I said all I wanted was communications and none led me to this. Plus seems like you do stuff that you say you hate about others and how you act and talk like the ones you made fun of it hurts cause it leads me to believe everything you told me was a lie. Like saying how you hate others hurting but you don’t even know how bad the stuff you do and say like I did can effect stuff. We both did but I am sorry trust me all I wanted was to talk and you tell me stuff. It’s like you do so much good for someone and they forget. Kinda like what I said you take things for granted after you had good for awhile then you start pointing fingers you think you start to feel better then a month later you are hurting cause it’s meant to be Then told you they leave cause I treat them good and they think they can get better and they want perfect cause they dont realize it doesnt exist we fought cause I was fighting for us I fought so you would talk I fought cause you stopped listening and started spacing off it hurt. I never called you a whore ever you said I did and I cleared it up before I NEVER called you a whore trust me i’d remember something like that. It’s like why are you making up stuff or blowing it up and not just talking to me about stuff like mature adult would. You just never sat me down like I did with you and told you what was bothering me whats funny is I tried hold us together talk and be there you use tell me how selfless I was always put others first even when struggling with drugs then on top I tried get your friends talk to you.
