New chapter.

If you are reading this I am sorry.

Thu, 06 Jun 2013 23:09:01 -0400

If you are reading this I am sorry.

You say you love me more and say you didn’t love him but you sticked it out more and did more...

Wed, 05 Jun 2013 00:13:33 -0400

You say you love me more and say you didn’t love him but you sticked it out more and did more for him funny the ones who treat you good you treat worse.

No I’m not high no I don’t take pills I still write about it. I guess that’s my enlightenness in it. This is about no one just everyone get it?…..

Stumbling over your mind wondering what the fuck is going through it trying to put it together like...

Wed, 05 Jun 2013 00:09:01 -0400

Stumbling over your mind wondering what the fuck is going through it trying to put it together like a jig saw puzzle but fuck your train thought ill derail your vision aint shit without action fuck a hoe that tries to bring down a mood and get that shit straight don’t twist it up and get to close for comforter. Kinda funny thinking talking behind my back I wont here the whispers from street hoes and bitches and tricks now they need the bones and I serve the like a owner I think it’s safe to say I am a street cleaner and you’re a trashed out bitch trying to fight til the end but see words are emotion and that shit runs deeper than the oceans and I can’t sea you altering and disfunction is my mind keep a wishing on a star. One one with the great one that’s going against a giant but nothing holding him back now a beas fucking unleashed spitting hitting banging cocaine slangging ambien dewll on something fingers covered in sweat blood do anything to prove a point

Refreshed and redone new start to old beginning

Tue, 04 Jun 2013 23:37:03 -0400

You wanted something more something I couldn’t give you. You think this about you but it’s about her and your dreaming. Wishing on a star so far fucking it seems dark. Poppin bottles just to drown her. Kissed him with more love than she kissed you it hurt at first but then you can give a fuckless then she wanted you more seems like it’s twisted up shit but that’s how it works. They want you when you don’t want the. But now you’re to far and can give a spit and they can eat the dick. I fuckin hate that bitch I wanna kill her throw her in the ditch but nahh she aint worth two cents nor the time spent. It’s a virb destruction doing it outta frustration now your going crazy could of had it all. But times wasted and now their gone….

Wanting picture with me. He loves me.

Wed, 29 May 2013 04:46:32 -0400

Wanting picture with me. He loves me.

That feeling you get when a kid smiles and never wants you too...

Wed, 29 May 2013 04:40:31 -0400

That feeling you get when a kid smiles and never wants you too leave and looks at you with so much love.

Don’t try to tear away someone if they don’t get to know them don’t try break up...

Fri, 11 Jan 2013 13:41:35 -0500

Don’t try to tear away someone if they don’t get to know them don’t try break up something cause you don’t want to be alone. Don’t say stuff if you can’t keep it don’t lie to make things easy. Be you not what they want. Don’t be a hypocrite.

Don’t cover that beautiful face. The guy next to me looked like Professor Keenbean off richy...

Thu, 27 Dec 2012 21:45:49 -0500

Don’t cover that beautiful face. The guy next to me looked like Professor Keenbean off richy rich.

Happiness is right were you left it who you left it with. Stop trying to find something else when...

Thu, 27 Dec 2012 18:25:12 -0500

Happiness is right were you left it who you left it with. Stop trying to find something else when what you had was perfect to you or did we just forget?

My dad ask me: Why did you shut the curtains. Me: I was watching a porno I didn’t want people...

Thu, 27 Dec 2012 17:52:54 -0500

My dad ask me: Why did you shut the curtains. Me: I was watching a porno I didn’t want people thinking we were freaks. Him:Okay.

Thing about it is when I use to cliff dive I realized the risk is always worth the fall. Sometimes...

Thu, 27 Dec 2012 00:28:00 -0500

Thing about it is when I use to cliff dive I realized the risk is always worth the fall. Sometimes it hurts but always worth it. Second when guys are with girls girls wanna get with guys and when a guy finds out about a girl getting hurt or lonely it’s like wolfs smells blood they gather around waiting for the right moment to strike and hope to get something like I always tell everyone. It’s hard oh yeah they will try make you feel not bad and relate. Follow the heart not other voices.

The moment when you smile from helping someone

Sat, 22 Dec 2012 13:38:24 -0500

[12/21/2012 1:44:29 AM] caseymariefelicity: i really need someone to talk to, just to settle my thinking

[12:18:06 PM] Cyle Bowers: Hey

[12:18:11 PM] Cyle Bowers: What’s up?

[12:19:10 PM] caseymariefelicity: just at my parents and trying to settle my thinking..

[12:19:40 PM] Cyle Bowers: I’m sorry well you can talk to me for a little before I leave

[12:22:47 PM] caseymariefelicity: okay.

well i’m stuck here for 2 1/2 more weeks..and i’m trying not to freak out. my sister hasn’t been back in 48 hours. because she’s off doing drugs & shit and when she comes back idk if i say somehting to her or not. because she just got back from rehab from over a year and i know i did everything possible to help her and that it’s not my fault..

but how do i not say something?

my parents spent so much on her and went through so much

[12:24:21 PM] Cyle Bowers: I am soo sorry

[12:24:23 PM] Cyle Bowers: Honest

[12:24:34 PM] Cyle Bowers: Coming from a drug person who use to do it

[12:24:44 PM] Cyle Bowers: and was into alcohol

[12:24:55 PM] Cyle Bowers: I can only say she has to want to

[12:25:00 PM] Cyle Bowers: No one can force her

[12:25:27 PM] Cyle Bowers: When we come to terms we want to change we will change

[12:25:47 PM] Cyle Bowers: But til then we have to learn

[12:25:52 PM] Cyle Bowers: I know it’s hard

[12:25:57 PM] caseymariefelicity: It’s not your faults, it’s no ones and I know that..but i just i’m so pissed..She nearly caused my parents to get a divorce, tried to stab my dad, they spent 100,000 on her schooling/rehab, and this is what she does.

And she’s stealing stuff from them.

I just don’t know if can handle not saying anything..Like blowing up.

Would that be bad?

[12:26:21 PM] Cyle Bowers: But nothing you can do just show her you care

[12:26:22 PM] Cyle Bowers: Yes

[12:26:31 PM] Cyle Bowers: It willl push her to do more

[12:26:37 PM] Cyle Bowers: Instead show her you care

[12:26:41 PM] Cyle Bowers: NOT forceful

[12:26:44 PM] Cyle Bowers: Nicly

[12:26:48 PM] Cyle Bowers: Make her feel bad

[12:26:55 PM] Cyle Bowers: We have to learn

[12:27:03 PM] Cyle Bowers: Meaning kill with kindness

[12:27:16 PM] caseymariefelicity: I don’t know how else, she’s pushed me out of her life, I wrote her every week for a year..sometimes two. and i tried so hard..

[12:27:31 PM] Cyle Bowers: I know

[12:27:44 PM] Cyle Bowers: She is going through a struggle

[12:27:46 PM] Cyle Bowers: Honest

[12:27:55 PM] Cyle Bowers: EVeryday I struggle with this shi

[12:28:01 PM] Cyle Bowers: I wanna get high everyday

[12:28:04 PM] Cyle Bowers: Still do

[12:28:07 PM] Cyle Bowers: But

[12:28:09 PM] Cyle Bowers: I fight it

[12:28:15 PM] Cyle Bowers: It’s like a sickness inside

[12:28:29 PM] Cyle Bowers: You want that rush and life seems boring

[12:29:35 PM] caseymariefelicity: well i can see life being boring, right now we’re in a town of 5,000 and nothing to do. It just hurts so bad.

[12:31:10 PM] Cyle Bowers: I know

[12:31:23 PM] caseymariefelicity: I’m just so hurt.

And I just hate that my parents are in so much pain.

[12:31:27 PM] Cyle Bowers: I was popping 15 perks a day

[12:31:47 PM] Cyle Bowers: Only thing you can do

[12:31:55 PM] Cyle Bowers: Is not feed her addiction

[12:31:57 PM] Cyle Bowers: Be there

[12:32:02 PM] Cyle Bowers: Meaning ask for money

[12:32:11 PM] Cyle Bowers: So no but ill take you out for food

[12:32:21 PM] Cyle Bowers: Just say by the way I love you

[12:32:22 PM] Cyle Bowers: BUT

[12:32:30 PM] Cyle Bowers: Don’t make her addiction a okay thing

[12:32:53 PM] Cyle Bowers: Once and awhile tell her sis I love you and worry just know I am here

[12:33:00 PM] Cyle Bowers: not all the time

[12:33:08 PM] Cyle Bowers: It will feel like you’re on top her

[12:33:22 PM] Cyle Bowers: When you are a addict you wanna do it more

[12:33:32 PM] caseymariefelicity: Maybe if she’d ever talk to me.

Or come home.

Thanks, I just really needed someone elses opionion.

[12:33:48 PM] Cyle Bowers: Just let her know i a nice way

[12:33:50 PM] Cyle Bowers: You care

[12:34:16 PM] Cyle Bowers: tell her how you miss her and always how we spent time

[12:34:30 PM] Cyle Bowers: Then say I love you and I am here if you need me

[12:34:50 PM] caseymariefelicity: Thank you.

[12:34:57 PM] Cyle Bowers: No problem

[12:35:01 PM] Cyle Bowers: I am glad I can help

[12:35:15 PM] caseymariefelicity: You’re a really nice guy. I appreciatte it.

[12:35:43 PM] Cyle Bowers: Haha nahh just someone who cares and wants people happy and safe

[12:35:56 PM] caseymariefelicity: You’re nice. You didn’t have to be to me.

[12:37:28 PM] Cyle Bowers: Why not? You’re a person. I think everyone needs someone rather love or talk. Just please don’t be scared ask for my help or need talk.

Of course it fucking hurts and the thought without you hurts.

Thu, 13 Dec 2012 16:44:05 -0500

Of course it fucking hurts and the thought without you hurts.

Basing my relationship off other like waiting for lightening strike in same spot…..LALALA

Thu, 29 Nov 2012 23:50:00 -0500

Basing my relationship off other like waiting for lightening strike in same spot…..LALALA

I am lucky to have you I know times are hard and I know you love me and I can be pushy I am when I...

Thu, 29 Nov 2012 01:36:00 -0500

I am lucky to have you I know times are hard and I know you love me and I can be pushy I am when I know what I want. But now I have to not be. I reread all the text you saying I’m yours just tuesday just need find yourself. Instead of being happy for you I wanted questions so I wasnt hurting. Now I get what you’re doing and want you know I love you miss you and I read how you say you miss me soo much and Love me soo very much. I want you know I think about you everyday and miss you. I am happy you’re finding yourself and making yourself better I was worried you’ll forget me and with joeys issues wasnt helping. I am sorry and want you know I am proud of you and here for you. I always love you and miss you and sorry for everything going on too it’s not all your fault.

Being young doens’t give you a reason to be slutty nor does it give you reason be heart...

Wed, 28 Nov 2012 23:48:52 -0500

Being young doens’t give you a reason to be slutty nor does it give you reason be heart broken. Don’t follow others foot steps. If you find someone who treats you good don’t go looking cause good wont always wait. Be happy cause you can loose everyone you have. When you get older and everyone starts leaving your life you start appreciating the ones you do have not worry about the ones you don’t have. People influence others so they’re not alone. Sometimes we go crazy and think wrong but if you stop for a second stop trying to move on all the time just once let the air settle maybe you’ll find yourself.

I devoted all my time my energy into this I gave you all I had down to the last drop of blood. You...

Tue, 27 Nov 2012 17:17:17 -0500

I devoted all my time my energy into this I gave you all I had down to the last drop of blood. You owe me this you can’t take away this no not today I push for this and you always push back I try to talk and I ask you what you want.

You know you are in love when you aint shit without them and you fake shit cry and weep yell and...

Mon, 26 Nov 2012 22:17:35 -0500

You know you are in love when you aint shit without them and you fake shit cry and weep yell and scream can’t stand other people and lost wanna fall to your knees .

Can’t believe this shit I would have gave my heart to you all I wanted was to be told I was...

Thu, 22 Nov 2012 23:23:04 -0500

Can’t believe this shit I would have gave my heart to you all I wanted was to be told I was loved and I wasnt putting myself out there for no reason. I called on you to be there but the phone never was answered. I’m no angel but I have feelings. It’s been a whole fucking two months drug free and I sit up late at night can’t sleep waiting for a text a call something. Grab a pill bottle hands shaking just one wont hurt I tell myself.

Days grow to weeks growing weak feel like I just had my stomach ripped out my hearts getting cold. Starting hate myself can’t stand myself. Why the fuck do I stay sober Why the fuck would you ever want me. Only if you knew how much this bothers me how this isnt right yet you stand by it. Do you forget I can leave too I can go out. I don’t cause my heart still lies with you and I hope it’s same. I pray you don’t talk to any other guys.

Fuck i’m feeling distant from everyone everythings fading to grey if only I had a ounce of confidence left in me muster up something.

They told me aint shit said I wont ammount to shit call it throw the fleg better off working 9 to 5...

Mon, 19 Nov 2012 22:57:27 -0500

They told me aint shit said I wont ammount to shit call it throw the fleg better off working 9 to 5 but inside I knew shit wasnt right gathered my wit pulled out all stops passion at all time.

Everything seems so empty so lost in this fucking place my mind races to keep up I barley stay a float with my music shit I feel like I am falling off and the waters getting bad the sharks are pussies now and days not much to worry I feel no threat but I feel everyone tugging at my threades and I wanna end it but I can’t not while I have a ounce of fire call it ends and ill be doing nobody favors this game needs me do you see these wack ass motherfuckers most yelling swag skinny jeans wearing fucking faggots so when did wearing homosexual clothes became cool when did blowing your money that you didn’t have fuck I may have a grand or two but I watch it especially cause most want me off my grind so I pressure double time